So what prompted me to start writing a blog about my (ex) neighbor?
It's many little things over several years that finally did it.
We no longer live next to her.
After ten years she was the motivation that got us of our lazy asses to finally move our 5 person strong family from a 1000+ square foot, 3 bedroom house to a 2400+ 5 bedroom house.
Oh sure, we like that two of our kids no longer have to share a tiny bedroom and we actually have plenty of space to not always be right on top of each other.
But the biggest bliss is the deafening silence coming from our new neighbors.
Not that we never see her any more, I've run into her a few times in town (it's too damn small!).
Just today I was at my 6 year old's first soccer tournament of the season and on my way to my car (getting the wife a chair) I bumped into her as she enters the soccer field.
It was an unpleasant surprise and my first reaction was that of horror as I muttered "Aw, crap!" under my breath and as I kept walking to my car, trying to ignore her as I have for the last two years that I've "lived" next to her, she hissed "Coward... Coward!" at me.
Am I a coward?
Maybe.
I do know that not many people I've talked to about her would have had the patience I've shown to not punch or shoot her in the face after she yells obscenities at me and my family but what would that have gotten me?
That's why I don't get why she calls me a coward.
I mean... what did she think I should have done?
Stayed?
Yelled back at her?
Call her names every time I see her?
Flip her off?
Yeah... that would have been the manly thing to do, flipping her off...
I'm telling ya..... she's nuts!
This comes by the way from the "adult" who shoved my (then) 12 year old daughter into a wall as she tried to pass her in a hallway at our neighborhood pool, and the last thing I saw of her today was her arm out of the window, flipping me off while speeding away, something I've seen her do a lot... Yeah... I'm the coward...
So I'm done doing nothing.
This blog is my therapy.
Whenever the thought or sight of her stirs my inner rage I will start typing away.
The more she bugs me, the more I type.
I won't mention actual names, this isn't about revenge, even though that wouldn't break my heart at all.
We have always called her Evilena in our household (never to her face).
Mega Mooch was a close second for me, because that's what she is, but Evilena is what she is a little more so that is what stuck.
I have a wife ("The Wife"), and three daughters, Trouble 1 (13 years old now), Trouble 2 (11 years old), and, you guessed it... Trouble 3 (6 years old).
I hope I'm not shocking too many good parents if I say that they actually get called that regularly?
Since I realize that without evidence this is just my word against hers, I have good news!
I have recorded a lot of her antics and I'm finally willing to share it!
Not that it isn't public record already.
I have used most of it to protect ourselves when we got her a restraining order so I'm sure it can be requested somewhere even if I didn't share it here.
I'm sure that, since has she pushed her cell phone camera often in our faces, she can back up everything she says about us just as much as I can back up my stories about her.
Maybe her "friends" should ask her about that every once and a while?
